There are many things you should bring to a job interview — a confident smile, a positive attitude, an unshakable belief in your ability to bring new ideas to the position, perfectly blended with a commitment to slavishly agree to all the outmoded, knucklehead rules your future employer will insist on.

And there is one thing you should never bring to a job interview.

An iced coffee.

Such was the position of Caitlin Wehniainen, the president of a Florida recruitment agency, who, earlier this year, posted a TikTok video on the subject. It was Ms. Wehniainen's view that Gen Z newbies should avoid appearing too casual in their approach to what could be a life-changing meeting.

Whether she changed lives — or minds — the firestorm of controversy that resulted attracted the attention of The New York Times, which recently published "How Iced Coffee Sparked a Generational Debate" by Alisha Haridasani Gupta and Nicole Stock.

The kerfuffle is not simply about iced coffee, of course. According to the reporters, "Gen Z was accused of being too careless and older generations were accused of being too rigid." My sympathies, I must admit, are with the Zoomers, who are having a rough time in the current economy and have already been skewered for spending so much money ordering avocado toast for breakfast that they can't afford to buy a house. (On the other hand, how do you think Mark Zuckerberg could afford his 2,300-acre estate in Hawaii? That's right — scrambled eggs.)

The anti-iced coffee crowd was not united in their objections. Some invoked the risks of murderous condensation, intolerable slurping or the possibility of spilling the offending liquid on the recruiter's desktop. Others insisted the iced coffee effect was generational — just one more example of young whippersnappers showing no respect for the established guidelines of a job interview or for the demands of the job itself, should they be so lucky to get one, which was unlikely.

In time, the iced coffee controversy became so heated (get it?) that "Coffeegate" popped up on the "Today" show, where Jenna Bush Hager described the drink as a "pacifier for young people," which "makes them feel powerful and confident and awake."

In a miserable job market, for Gen Zers and everyone else from A to Y, it is certainly important to fully analyze every aspect of looking for work today, no matter how ridiculous. Does bringing an iced coffee to an interview lower your chances of being hired by 0.00001%? Better skip the Starbucks. Could bringing a hot coffee improve your chances 0.000001%, suggesting you would be the kind of employee who will do anything to ensure that you are always performing at your caffeinated peak? Show up for the interview with your Nespresso Pixie in hand. Make a couple of perfect lattes for your interviewer and yourself in mid-interview. That's a move not even AI can match.

While I fully believe that Gen Zers can be as professional in their approach to jobs and job hunting — no one is bringing a juice box or a sippy cup, for heaven's sake — there are other options to consider for interview libations. For example:

No. 1: Bring a protein drink

A pouch of protein granules and mysterious probiotic chemicals fresh from a Chinese laboratory show that you will bring your new employer a buff body ready to produce muscular memos and well-chiseled business plans. Your willingness to fall for wacky food fads proves you will have no problem drinking the company Kool-Aid, especially if it comes with emulsifiers, stabilizers and yummy flavoring.

No. 2: Bring a Mojito

Let the recruiter know you're a fun hire by arriving with an icy pitcher of mojitos. Don't forget the limes and the salt. You'll want to show that you're detail-oriented. If the job is in HR, a better cocktail choice would be the Corpse Reviver.

No. 3: Bring a Glass of Milk

It's for the ulcer you got from working so hard.

No. 4: Bring a Bottle of Champagne

It's to celebrate someone actually hiring you. Spread confetti as you enter the recruiter's office. You can sweep it up when they throw you out.

No. 5: Bring Milk of Magnesia

Working for a company that cares whether or not you bring an iced coffee to an interview will certainly make you sick to your stomach. Bring some for the interviewer, too. They'll get the blame for hiring you and will definitely be feeling oopsy.

Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com. To find out more about Bob Goldman and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

Photo credit: tabitha turner at Unsplash